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This is Dawn Schiller's personal memoir and life's story. Information technology's not just about John Holmes though, although that's the brunt of the volume. It starts in her before years growing upwardly in Point Pleasant NJ (not all that far from
Just most everybody knows who John Holmes is. Nearly would probably also know about The Wonderland Murders. While I never saw the movie, I did have some idea of what it was virtually. Or at least I thought I did. Turns out, I had no idea about any of it until later I read this book.This is Dawn Schiller'south personal memoir and life's story. It's not only almost John Holmes though, although that'due south the brunt of the book. It starts in her earlier years growing up in Point Pleasant NJ (non all that far from my neck of the wood actually) where she was built-in to a German language immigrant and a war veteran. Information technology the continues along her life'south incredible journey. From New Jersey, to Florida, To California, BACK to Florida and places overseas, Dawn Schiller chronicles a long menses in her life where betrayal, corruption and beingness exploited were the norm.
Reading this book I couldn't aid but think how, from an early age, everything was set confronting Dawn. Her mother was a harsh disciplinarian. Her begetter, having come up back from the Vietnam war, was never the same. After moving the family to Florida confronting her will, her male parent takes her and her sister Terry across land, doing drugs, drinking and taking in the sights when they see a hitchhiker whom they pick upwardly. The man they pick up offers to set them up with living accommodations in Glendale, CA when they get there. Information technology just then happens that the little bungalow customs they end up squatting at is managed past John Holmes. He takes an immediate liking to Dawn. He was 32, working in the porn industry. She was 15 years one-time. From that signal on, Dawn was exposed to a life of drugs, prostitution and both concrete and mental abuse that lasted for years. Information technology just read like a perfect alignment of pitfalls fix with the specific purpose of destroying Dawn's teenage years and that's exactly what happened, all of information technology out of her control.
Despite the darker nature of the book (drugs, corruption, John'southward job in the porn industry, etc, etc) it never once glorifies whatsoever of it. Equally a matter of fact, I was surprised at how 'clean' a read this memoir was. Most people know what made John Holmes and then famous, simply she doesn't go into great detail about information technology. There is no titillation factor here. There's fifty-fifty a surprising lack of profanity. It's impressive, given the principal focus of the book.
Through the volume, because of the very good writing, you get into her head and yous can almost feel the conflict in her. The John she ended up with was not the John she met and fell in love with as an inexperienced and idealistic heart teenager. There were shades of his darker nature that would ingather upwards from time to fourth dimension just as the volume progresses, you tin can see his slow descent into his night half. It's really chilling to read. But, perhaps the nigh impressive thing is Dawn's rebirth afterwards John Holmes. How she picked upwardly the pieces of her life, gathered herself and moved on. He however haunts her and he probably always volition but her force of character is nothing short of astonishing.
For anybody on the contend, don't let the championship turn yous off. This isn't a 'sexual practice' book (there's, amazingly, very piddling description of sex activity in the volume at all). This is a survivor's story and information technology's fantastic in its vicious depiction of a life that took a wrong turn due to outside circumstances but somewhen rights itself.
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Like shooting fish in a barrel read, but brutal story that left me yearning for more on the real John Holmes. Dawn is a survivor and I can run into how easy it might take been at that age to have fallen into this mans spell. Would recommend to others.
I suppose that is the strength of the volume, in that it introduced me to behavior that I do not sympathise. The difficult role is that, while I am willing to off
This was an incredibly difficult book for me to read. Non because information technology was poorly written, and not because I lost interest. No, I could not understand, and still do non empathise, how someone who escapes from an calumniating human relationship into a rubber environment surrounded by people who truly care would cull to become back into that relationship.I suppose that is the strength of the book, in that information technology introduced me to behavior that I do not sympathize. The difficult office is that, while I am willing to offer help, I'm not certain that I want to understand that behavior.
For those who are reading this as either a "true crime" story or an inside glimpse into the pornography industry, there will exist thwarting. The writer was on the outside of the Wonderland killings, and offers footling insight into the investigation of the story behind them. Although she was as well the companion of John Holmes, there is no indication that she was directly introduced to the pornography industry. (Those wanting an inside view should read GIRLVERT.)
No, this is the story of how a teenager was seduced past love into an abusive human relationship. The desire for thrills turns slowly into a nightmare and, once there, merely provides brief moments of relief. It is a starkly unpleasant tale that leaves a biting taste when it is finished.
For those wanting insight into how an calumniating relationship can happen and continue, it is probably required reading.
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After Dawn
I watched the 2003 movie 'Wonderland' starring Val Kilmer, and Kate Bosworth, and for some reason didn't connect that flick with this book. Having forgotten the title of the movie, and never really having heard anything most John Holmes other than his extremely big (ahem)penis, I guess that'due south why I forgot. I didn't fifty-fifty remember the murders that took place in the movie, I actually wonder about my listen sometimes...I'll have to picket that movie once more now that I have read this book.After Dawn'south parents divorce she, and her sis Terry decide they want to live with their hippie father. They take missed him while he was over seas supposedly sitting in a foriegn jail, and they long to escape the horror and violence of their current surround. After a tearful cheerio to their mom, and petty blood brother they set off for California without whatever real destination in mind other than the state itself. Forth the mode they pick upwardly a hitchhiker in the hopes that he will have some pot. Not only does he have some pot, but it's their lucky day when he too is going to California, and likewise offers them a identify to stay at his girlfriend Harriet'due south. It's while at Harriet's that Dawn meets John Holmes. He manages the cottages forth with his wife Sharon, and is besides seemingly the neighborhood pot dealer.
John Holmes works out ways to be near Dawn, and with a neglectful father it'south not too hard for him to weasel his way into her life. At first Dawn but sees xxx two year old John every bit a much older man, but he knows what he'southward doing, and eventually wins the fifteen year olds angel. At first Dawn is quite happy with John, and even more than overjoyed when she somewhen comes to live with him. She lives in a somewhat happy bliss for a while until pot isn't the only drug the ii share a common interest in. Freebase enters into their lives, and before they know what hitting them their lives have been swept abroad on the currents of a drug fueled wave well-nigh to crash into the shore.
I couldn't stand to put this volume down! The only complaint is that some parts are a fiddling besides drawn out, only I'm sure Dawn did that in an attempt to show how she was swept along in John'south crazy earth. If it wasn't for me feeling that some parts were exhausted so this could take been a five star read for sure.
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Dawn takes you through her gut-wrenching relationship with John Holmes. She was FIFTEEN years old when she met John, who was 32 years former, and married! She was living with her unstable father, who let her go off with Holmes, even though she was and so immature. John Holmes was a master
Me and my young man watched Wonderland a couple months dorsum and I was doing a piffling research on the murders the movie was based on and found out that there was this book. Intrigued I purchased it and if course, read it!!Dawn takes y'all through her gut-wrenching relationship with John Holmes. She was Xv years old when she met John, who was 32 years old, and married! She was living with her unstable father, who let her get off with Holmes, fifty-fifty though she was so young. John Holmes was a master manipulator, a drug addict, and an abusive ass! He manipulated and stole Dawns innocence and youth. Towards the end, when the murders have place he was so far gone and then deep into his addiction, that was all he cared most.....getting one more fix. And he didn't intendance how he got it, as long as he got it...going and so far as to pimping Dawn out on the streets. Every bit horrible equally the murders were, it was actually a bit of a approving for her....it led to her finally getting free of Holmes.
...more than To be clear right off the bat, this isn't Holmes' story but that of his long-time love Dawn Schiller. A
Always since I saw Boogie Nights way dorsum when I've had an ongoing fascination with the world of pornography. Non then much the films themselves but the behind the scenes stuff, the drugs, the violence, the depravity, etc. John Holmes being arguably the about notorious of all male pornstars fit the ticket for all of the above. All the same I wasn't prepared for the raw and disturbing world that he inhabited.To be clear right off the bat, this isn't Holmes' story simply that of his long-time beloved Dawn Schiller. Aside from brief mention of Holmes' picture career, this is at heart a love story that speedily crumbles into something so vile and painful I found myself visibly wincing on several occasions. A testament to the terrible things drug habit and abuse tin create, punches aren't pulled hither. At the stop of the book, Schiller mentions that some of the experiences were besides painful and weren't included in the book. Past God, if that'southward truthful, information technology's beyond what the mind can fathom because the stuff included is downright nauseating. What makes it worse is that the preceding years before the drug addiction were golden. John Holmes seemed a kind and tender soul, full of life and dearest, and willing to give Dawn the world on a silver platter. I knew the other shoe would drop eventually but I was unprepared for what that would entail.
Schiller is a strong woman who continues to work advocacy for abused women and children and is most definitely is a survivor. I have no doubt in my mind that she was at expiry's door living with this monster of a man. This is an piece of cake read with fast pacing but the content can be very difficult at times. This is an of import read every bit Schiller's story may be her own but her circumstances aren't unique. Sexual abuse and violence still run rampant behind closed doors and it's important to notation that many, dissimilar Schiller, practise not escape with their lives.
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Shelby
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The book itself is squarely planted at a sixth grade reading level. That said, fifty-fifty because the obviou
Have a damaged child of the late seventies with the least responsible parents possible (parenting skills were vastly overrated in the 1970s) and transplant her 3,000 miles, cross-land, on her own, at the age of fifteen, trusting that she'll handle her life appropriately in the intendance of the nearly notorious porn star in history, along with his loser, druggie friends. Now, say hello to Dawn Schiller.The volume itself is squarely planted at a 6th grade reading level. That said, fifty-fifty considering the patently glaring omissions from Ms. Schilling's memoirs of her exploitation at her tender historic period, you'll exist left dumbstruck at how epically she was failed -- not just past her biological family, only by the family unit she was "fortunate" plenty to presume every bit her own. Partly out of necessity and partly out of teenage naivite (insert accent marks yourself. I'm not French).
Glaring omissions pointed out, the book takes 475 pages to consummate. It could take been longer, or, more probable, it could have been trimmed. Who cares? Ms. Schiller's story is extraordinary and information technology really pulls on one's "heartstrings" (did I say that? really?), reminding us all how we should care for women, and girls (which is to concur them in the highest esteem). I promise she lives a saint's life past 1988, when this book leaves off, considering she certainly deserves information technology. Despite its small shortcomings, this book is totally worth a quick read.
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Wow! Glad I read this one. Gripping reality of John Holmes. The book did non reveal whatsoever details of his life in porn. It was the memoirs of his young victim, Dawn Schiller. I was surprised she survived. Since she did, her life definitely has purpose. I tin can simply imagine the depths of her force and brevity. I read this book in less than 24 hours. I was shocked that John'southward wife was completely oblivious to what was going on. Lots of surprises in this story.
Wow! Glad I read this i. Gripping reality of John Holmes. The book did not reveal any details of his life in porn. It was the memoirs of his young victim, Dawn Schiller. I was surprised she survived. Since she did, her life definitely has purpose. I can only imagine the depths of her strength and brevity. I read this book in less than 24 hours. I was shocked that John'due south married woman was completely oblivious to what was going on. Lots of surprises in this story.
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I knew Dawn at the Academy I attended and never would have guessed the life she survived. Hers is a difficult, only important story and I am moved to accept experienced it through this memoir.
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